Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
“I want to define success by redefining it, for me it isn’t that solely mythical definition- glamour, allure, power of wealth and the privilege from care. My definition of success should be personal because its so transitory. Its about shaping your own destiny.”
-Anita Roddick
Introduction:
When we are young people tell us that anything is possible. Yet when we get older these same people tell us that we need to get our lives together. That what we are doing is not enough. That the possible is in fact impossible.
We are sold all of these dreams and futures and we buy them. Then we realise they are not what we want, so we try to return them only to realise you’ve lost the receipt or its past the return date. How do we go on from here? How do we reclaim our own dreams, the ones unblemished from the judgement of others? And how do we define our own success?
What is Success?
The idea of ‘success’ is subjective but we have engraved this societal concept of success (Money and Fame) into our brains that we no longer know what success means to us. What is our idea of success? In other words, what do we want from our lives? To me this is what success is; simply accomplishing everything you want in your lifetime. No matter how big or small.
Problems with the societal concept of success:
I believe that a lot of the time our idea of success is not what we truly want. Instead it is what we think everyone around us wants. We are all aiming to make somebody proud, whether its your parents, teachers or friends. But we neglect the most important person we need to make proud. ourselves.
I also believe that people don’t even realise that their dreams are not their own. This could be because many people (including me) live in the fear of judgement. And this is normal. But, by living in this way, we can never be ourselves. Our lives will only be a reflection of those around us. Whether this is our friends or family or even strangers on the internet. We end up changing so much of ourselves (including our likes, dislikes, beliefs and dreams) just to fit in. By achieving other people’s dreams and goals you may reach a level of success in their eyes but will you view yourself as successful?
I believe that everybody has one path they are suppose to take that will eventually lead them to success. On this path there may be many side paths, which can rush or delay our journey towards success, but essentially they still follow the same path. Sometimes, we neglect the path entirely and stumble upon another persons path, mistaking it for our own. Then we feel lost and confused because we have reached a destination not meant for us, but for somebody else. This is what happens when we allow other people to dictate our dreams and goals; we end up achieving success that makes everyone else happy but ourselves.
How do we define our own Success:
As mentioned previously I believe that success is personal and should be based on what you want to accomplish in this lifetime. Now understanding what it is that we really want can be hard for some, including me.
Growing up I was always trying to convince myself that what I wanted for myself was what I truly wanted. However, I began realising that what I wanted was actually a reflection of what I thought everyone around me wanted. This realisation left me feeling confused and lost as I realised that my goals weren’t actually my own. Adding to this, growing up I always adapted to the people I was around and in doing so I adjusted myself according to who I thought they wanted me to be. Unfortunately, this led me to changing myself so much I lost sight of who I really was. Although this sounds dramatic, I believe a lot of us don’t know who we truly are. We never really get the time or the chance to really figure it out.
One thing that really helped me remember who I was, was looking at my younger self. When we are younger we care very little about what people think about us and don’t feel the need to change ourselves to meet the expectation of others. Thinking about my childhood hobbies, interests and dislikes helped me remember who I truly was. For example as a child I loved art and reading, hobbies I stopped long ago due to simply not having enough time. Then one summer I picked up a book for the first time that got me out of my 3 year reading slump. (The book, for those who were wondering, was ‘once upon a broken heart’ by Stephanie Garber). Then from these hobbies stemmed new ones such as my love for writing.
I also loved Science, in particular Biology, but over the years I strayed away from it because I didn’t think I could get a career that would make me rich from it. This was me giving into one of the societal ideas of success; being rich. So I strayed from my path and chose to study an engineering degree. Fast forwarding to the present, I changed my degree course to biology. I have realised my purpose is not within the engineering field and after years of trying to convince myself it was I made the leap to accept the truth and change.
Defining your own success is creating a life for yourself were you are able to do the things that you love.
Success in terms of your Career:
When we are in school there is this pressure on us from the people around us, including ourselves to choose a career path that will make you wealthy. but this is an unreliable motivator. I strongly believe that if you are passionate about something success will come to you and things like money will follow. We shouldn’t have to sacrifice present happiness for future happiness.
You also don’t need to be a millionaire to be successful. Of course it would be great to be rich, but I think making enough money to accommodate your lifestyle is great too. Many of us want more than we really need, more than what we really want. It’s one thing to look successful and another to feel successful. And we can only feel successful when we stop caring about what others think of us and focus on what’s important to us. Living the life we want to live. And being successful in our own right.
Final note:
Define Success on your own terms. There is no set bar to reach success, it is simply living a life you are proud of living. Accomplish everything you truly want no matter how big or small. I hope you enjoyed this blog post and it has helped you in some way, no matter how big or small.
This post was created from my own thoughts and opinions. I want to encourage people to make their own opinions on this too so feel free to comment them below. I would love to hear any of your thoughts!