Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
let me just start off by contradicting myself (which is always a good way to start). Perfection doesn’t exist. It is a concept with no actual substance. Like most things man-made it started of as innocent and has now paved the way to self-sabotage.
I believe everybody is striving to reach some sort of perfection. Whether it’s their dream career, life, family etc. We are constantly striving towards something that doesn’t exist. And that means that no matter what we do we will never reach it.
One of the biggest things I try and promote in my blogs is the idea that we should be redefining definitions for words such as perfection which are so subjective. The problem arises when we try to alter ourselves to fit into the definition of words created by other people. When we start thinking about what these words mean to us, we start to do things that align with our own values and nobody else’s.
The Oxford dictionary defines the word perfect as having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be. For me being perfect means being my true and authentic self. And being myself, being imperfect, is perfection to me. I am always trying to find new ways to improve myself, but all these things align with my definition of perfection.
In this blog post I wanted to talk about my experience with constantly trying to fit into other peoples perceptions of perfection and the affects it had on my life. I also wanted to share some of the things I learnt along the way and the realisations I had. With that being said I hope you enjoy this blog post.
How the word perfect affected me growing up
When we are younger the word perfect is thrown around at us left right and centre. We grow up with unrealistic meanings of the word perfection. I used to think it was being good at everything. And I was severely disappointed when I wasn’t good at everything. It made me feel worthless.
Then through my teen years, when I started becoming more self-conscious the problem worsened. Like most people, I was introduced to the media’s definitions of perfection. I was introduced to what other people thought the perfect face, body and lifestyle looked like. I found myself becoming more unhappy because my life didn’t fit into societies perception of perfection.
It was only when I reached 18 that I began realising that I didn’t even want to fit into the medias perception of perfection because not only was it unattainable but it wasn’t real. I would watch YouTube videos about how influencer and celebrity lives were not what they were constantly made out to be online. It wasn’t until a few months ago that I had this realisation that I was living my life according to other people’s idea of perfection. And it was time to stop.
The lessons I learnt:
I wanted to write this section because I have learnt a lot through my journey of redefining perfection and moving away from the medias portrayal of perfection and wanted to share these lessons with you.
Being imperfect is not bad
When I was younger I was living in this fantasy fairy-tale where everything had to be perfect. I was low-key delusional. I couldn’t understand why life could not be perfect and would get disappointed when my sky-high expectations were not met. This was because I viewed imperfection as something to be scared and ashamed of. But one of the biggest things I learnt was that imperfection is not bad at all. Some people are scared to show their lives as imperfect, afraid of judgement but the thing is life in itself is imperfect. And I think that’s the beauty of life. Its like one huge roller coaster. (That’s probably not the best analogy seeing as I’m scared of roller coasters but hopefully you get the point).
Another thing I have realised is that knowing that you are imperfect is a huge advantage. It allows you to identify areas in your life that may need working on. Being self-aware is such a great position to be in. Honestly, people who live life thinking they are perfect scare me. The whole point of life is to learn. If you deem yourself and your life as perfect you won’t welcome change and you won’t be learning the lessons of life.
So being imperfect is not bad at all. To be able to even identify yourself as imperfect shows you have a huge level of self-understanding.
Knowing your definition of perfection allows you to have stronger values.
With redefining big and important words such as success, happiness and perfection comes a lot of self-realisations. We essentially learn more about ourselves and our values.
By redefining the word perfection on my own terms I have learnt a lot more about myself. I have learnt what it is that I want from my life and I’ve learnt lessons that I wouldn’t have learnt if I was doing what other people wanted me to do. This in turn has made me more aware of my values and what I stand for in life.
I do understand that redefining words on your own terms can be extremely hard. I found it really hard understanding what it was that I wanted because I had always lived my life to please others. So it took me quite a while to figure out what these words meant to me. So take time with it, there is no quick and easy way. You simply have to take time out of your day and sit with yourself and your thoughts (which I know can be really hard). Sometimes, sitting down with yourself can teach you more about yourself than you realise.
You stop comparing your life to others.
One of the biggest things I have learnt is that my life doesn’t need to look glamorous like those online. I do not have to look like the people I see online. Realising this has made me aware of what I have and what I want which has allowed me to stop comparing myself to others.
This has had a massive positive affect on my life. Constantly comparing yourself to others and having people compare you to others can have severe negative impact on our lives. Before, when I used to see people who had lives that I thought I wanted, I would try and copy it. Now, I simply take inspiration and incorporate new things into my life in a way that suits me.
I want to be completely honest on this blog and don’t want to set up false expectations. So I’m going to finish by saying that there are times that I still do compare my life to others. We are human and it’s extremely hard to get rid of old bad habits but I can say that it hardly ever happens. And when I find someone comparing me or when I’m comparing myself, I am in a position where I can sit back and see myself falling into this negative spiral and take myself out of it.
Conclusion:
I hope you enjoyed this weeks blog post about redefining perfection on your own terms. Hopefully my experiences have helped you learn something new. I would love to hear any of your opinions and experiences about this topic (you can comment them below).
Have a Lovely day!