Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Introduction
Throughout your time at school, I am sure that you would have heard of the term ‘Peer pressure’. Growing up, it was something that was always at the back of my mind. Theoretically I knew what it was but I couldn’t see the practical elements in my life. To phrase it better, if you were to ask me what peer pressure was I could define it but I couldn’t see that certain events in my life were caused by peer pressure. It wasn’t until I came to University that I realised how much peer pressure people are exposed to. When we first come to university we put so much pressure on ourselves to fit in and study really hard. But the added pressure of people around us can make it suffocating and the whole experience frightening.
Its also common for people to know what it is but unsure of how to resist peer pressure. That is something we aren’t taught much about. In todays blog post I wanted to share my own personal journey dealing with peer pressure and the lessons I have learned.
What is Peer pressure?
According to the Oxford dictionary Peer pressure is simply defined as the ‘influence from members of one’s peer group’. I would also like to add to this and say that we can also feel peer pressure from the media. For some reason the portrayal of young people’s lives (especially in movies and TV shows) is absolutely disgusting. Often, it is completely inaccurate and creates unnecessary pressure for our lives to look a certain way. Drugs, alcohol and hook-up culture should not be normalised and we should definitely not feel pressurised to partake in these activities.
Peer Pressure is not always negative
Another thing I wanted to touch upon is the fact that Peer pressure is not always negative. I think it is healthy to have people in your life that make you want to do good. Peer pressure has lots of negative connotations surrounding it but personally I don’t think its always negative. In fact, there are people in my life who are constantly pushing me to do better.
My personal experience with peer pressure
When people first come to university you don’t realise how much peer pressure you are exposed to until a few weeks/months later when you sit down with yourself and think ‘what the heck was I even thinking?’. That was literally me.
During freshers week I went out with my roommates to places I literally hate. For those of you who don’t know I have 9 roommates. And, when everyone was urging me to do something it was extremely hard for me to say no.
All of the embarrassing moments during my first few week at university happened because I had succumbed to the pressure of people around me and put myself in positions I was uncomfortable with. I want to share these experiences with you because I feel like a lot of people have the same experiences. Besides, I have made peace with the past and am confident in sharing them.
My freshers week:
So, during the first week of university (freshers week) there was a social at the University pub. I had just met my flatmates and wanted to get to know them better so I thought ‘why not?’. When we arrived at the pub it was so busy. I was literally so scared to go inside. Me and my roommates were all huddled over one table (there were no seats left) and I was literally standing their like an awkwardly built statue. I was so out of my comfort zone I wanted to run back home. A lot of the guys were going up to one of my roommates and at one point I couldn’t even see her. Also, I didn’t have anybody to talk to which added to my anxiousness.
The only good thing that happened was that I went into a Nerf gun battle with other people which was the best thing that happened in freshers week.
The next example, which was the most embarrassing, was when my roommates convinced me to ride the electric scooters all the way to university (which is 35 minutes away). I hated it. I do not understand how people love riding those demonic scooters, which seem to accelerate at such an unnatural speed. Anyway long story short, I fell of off the scooter. Because I had succumb to all the peer pressure I had put myself in a position where not only did I feel unsafe but I also felt like I hated myself for not being cool and social enough.
A little note:
Both these instances happened during freshers week and after the last one I made a silent pledge to myself not to succumb to peer pressure ever again. Its really easy to beat yourself up over these past experiences but its important to learn and grow from them, so I wouldn’t change them for anything. These past mistakes of mine have made me more aware about who I am as a person and so I cannot regret something that has allowed me to grow. My peer pressure journey ended after freshers week when I realised I wasn’t being true to myself. However, I see a lot of people around me trapped in the same cycle of doing things because other people want them to.
How to resist peer pressure
1. surround yourself with like-minded people
This is simply the best way to avoid peer pressure. Finding people with the same interests and values as you. I am really fortunate that my current friends all have similar ideas of fun. When you surround yourself with like-minded people there is very little room for peer pressure. I have found that this is mainly because all of the things you do are things you actually want to do. So, you don’t feel pressured into doing something you essentially don’t want to do.
2. Set Boundaries
Setting up boundaries is so important. Why are we not taught this stuff when we are young. We are taught to respect other peoples boundaries but never our own. It’s ridiculous. Setting up my own boundaries was something I struggled a lot with in the past. I struggled to say ‘no’ and this led to a lot of problems.
Although, I have definitely gotten better at setting my own boundaries and clearly communicating them to people around me I would be lying if I said I was perfect at it. But it is something I have drastically improved on and that is all I can ask for. Personally, the one thing that allowed me to set clear boundaries was effective communication. Telling people what you are and are not okay with is really important. And it prevents you from succumbing to peer pressure because it makes you more aware when people are crossing your boundaries.
3. stand up for your values
Standing up for your values is something everyone should do. Personally I think your values define who you are as a person and anytime you are going against this you are going against yourself. Knowing what your values are and sticking to them is the most respectful thing you can do for yourself. Peer pressure is really good at making you forget your values and what it is that you stand for. By sticking to your values you can identify when you are being peer pressured into something.
An example of this (from my own experience) is smoking. On coming to university the pressure to smoke was laid thick, it seemed like everyone was either vaping or smoking. I was literally doing my laundry and got offered a cigarette which I kindly declined. One of my Values is that I will never smoke because I have seen the effects it has on people I know. By identifying this as one of my values I am able to stand my ground when I feel like I’m being pressurised into something I know is not good for me.
Conlusion:
I hope that you enjoyed todays blog post! I would love to hear any of your own experiences and opinions on this topic. Feel free to comment them down below!
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