Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
Last weekend I did something that really scared me. It was going to a society at my university alone. Now that the weather is nice I wanted to go hiking but nobody else was free. This left me with two options 1) go by myself or 2) don’t go at all. Now, I go on a lot of walks by myself but my fear was having to go to a society with people that I didn’t know. Meeting large amounts of new people has always scared me. The reason why it scared me was because it was so out of my comfort zone.
The whole week I was contemplating whether or not I should go. It wasn’t until the morning of the hike that I spontaneously decided to just go. Throughout the day I met new people and overall had a really enjoyable hike, passing through a lot of beautiful scenery (the images above were taken on the hike). I was actually really happy that I went and proud of myself for finding the courage to face my fears. This isn’t the first time I have faced these fears but it was the first time that I actually took the time to acknowledge my thoughts and feelings when dealing with these fears. After the weekend I sat down with myself and began journaling about everything that happened and the lessons I learnt.
In this blog post I want to highlight the lessons that I learnt from stepping out of my comfort zone. With that being said I hope you enjoy this post!
I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had courage to go forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils.
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
1. Fear can disguise good things
From experience I have realised that fear can sometimes be extremely irrational. A lot of the time fears can mask the good things in life, making us perceive them as something to be afraid of.
For the longest time I was fearful of any type of social event. I would get extremely nervous and scared and so I perceived social events as a negative thing. But the more I went to them the more I realised that they weren’t as bad as I was making them out to be. I got to meet new people and spend time with my friends. At the end of the day I would feel this sense of achievement for being brave enough to do the things that scared me in order to develop myself.
Nothing good is ever easy. Sometimes our biggest enemy is the voice inside our heads fuelling us with fear. But it’s important to confront this fear and not give in, taking back control. I think its an extremely rewarding thing when you do something that scares you. Even if it may be seen as something small like going shopping by yourself.
Throughout my teenage years I gave into this fear a lot. I used it as an excuse to not do certain things. But, looking back now, if I had confronted my fears early on, I would have been a lot more happier. Even if things scare you its important to not give in to them and let them control you. And I know its easier said than done but the more you do it the easier it will become.
2. Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
Often, when we do things that we fear, feelings of discomfort follow. As humans we seek feelings of comfort as we associate it with safety and security. We also try our hardest not to put ourselves in situations that make us uncomfortable. And this is totally normal. But, temporary discomfort can create permanent future comfort.
I find that things that make me uncomfortable are things that are new to me. And in order to develop myself I cannot simply hold onto my old self hoping to miraculously change. I need to embrace newness and change. That’s why I think it is important to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Being comfortable with being in situations that your present self may not like, but your future self will benefit from. Being comfortable with putting yourself out there and facing your fears.
Although feelings of discomfort are never easy to embrace, its important to normalise them in situations you know are going to benefit you. For me that is putting myself out there in terms of being more social to help get over my social anxiety.
3. Be patient and Kind to yourself
Being scared is 100% normal, especially when trying new things. It’s a natural feeling. But, despite this, I used to be really hard on myself when things that were totally normal seemed to scare me. I used to get angry at myself for giving into certain fears and not having the courage to face them. I was my biggest critique.
When trying new things and getting out of your comfort zone its important for you to be patient and kind to yourself. Treat yourself with respect and care. You are only human and so its okay to be scared to step out of your comfort zone. The problem arises when we become impatient with our progress and expectations.
Stepping out of your comfort zone requires large amounts of time, dedication and patience. Taking small steps is way better than just diving into the deep end. When dealing with changes associated with stepping out of your comfort zone its important to take it in small amounts to prevent getting overwhelmed.
From personal experience I find that its easier to mistreat yourself than others. I wanted to write this section to remind you that stepping out of your comfort zone is daunting. Things may not always go as planned. The amount of times I’ve done something new and wanted things to go perfectly is innumerable. Whether it be conversations with others or just doing the activity in the first place. And then when things don’t go according to plan I beat myself up about it.
It’s so incredibly important to be kind and patient to yourself whenever you are stepping out of your comfort zone. You should feel incredibly proud that you found the courage to even get out of your comfort zone. That in itself is a huge achievement.
Conclusions
Before I wrap up this post I just want to say that I am still on this journey of getting out of my comfort zone and facing my fears. I just wanted to share what I have already learnt so far and hopefully one day I can look back on this post and see how much I have improved.
I hope that you have enjoyed reading this post and if you have any experiences or lessons that you would like to comment below I would love to hear them.
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